PostSecret

I just got around to looking at this week's Sunday Secrets. There's usually one or two postcards that hit home each week for various reasons...this one hit me like a ton of bricks.

I pray that this will not be me but am so afraid I will end up feeling the same way.

Startling

Some of the people I work with at my second job have started to add me as friends on Myspace. I'm not really on Myspace much anymore, but I've accepted all of their requests and have even looked at a few of their pages.

I was bored a few nights ago, so I started to look through the pictures that one of the bartenders has on her page. The first album I opened had a picture of her with 2 guys...Ex's best man and a groomsman! I freaked. And continued looking...then I saw it. A picture of her and Ex in a shirt and hat that I'd bought him for Christmas 2007, so I knew it had to be a fairly recent picture.

This may not seem like a big deal, but the last thing I want is for him to have the satisfaction of knowing that I had to get a second job and even if he did found out that I have 2 jobs, I certainly don't want him to know where! The last thing I need is for him to walk in there. I don't know what I'll do if that happens. I just feel like the less he knows about me and my life, the better.

Turns out they worked together at a bar a couple of years ago and just happened to run into each other at a bar not too long ago. She said she doesn't talk to him. I hope that's true and if it's not, I hope he's courteous enough not to show up. I mean I've know where he works for months now and I've never gone there. Maybe he'll give me the same respect.

Thoughts on life...

So, I'm officially done dating P, the first guy since the Ex. Actually I haven't seen him in forever so I just assumed it was a mutual thing...wrong. I received a random text asking me why we stopped seeing each other. I replied with something about how since we hadn't seen each other in a month, I just assumed that he wasn't interested in seeing me either. The next reply "Are we broken up?" I couldn't believe a 32 year-old man was asking me this.

First of all we were never anything more than dating. Each time I heard the boyfriend/girlfriend thing thrown out, I quickly spoke up. I'd told him over and over again that I wasn't ready for anything serious. Guess he didn't get the clue.

I replied to his text, that yes, I guess it was for the best if we didn't see each other again. I never heard from him again.

There's a new guy that I've seen twice. He's nice, fun, and sweet. He even came to see me when I was sick. He just got out of a serious relationship, too, so he understands me wanting my space and the need to take things slow. I don't really see anything coming out of it, but I'm just going to enjoy whatever happens.

I guess that's what dating is all about anyway...just enjoying the ride.